


THE BOY FROM A BLUE SCREEN

by Thorianna



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers: Infinity War - Fandom
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Angst and Feels, Crushes, Depression, Fighting Couple, Grief/Mourning, Multi, Past Character Death, Pepper Potts Feels, Post Infinity War, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Infinity War, Secret Crush, Starker, Teen Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 14:07:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16265783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thorianna/pseuds/Thorianna
Summary: It’s been almost two years since Peter Parker and many others have died during Infinity War. Tony Stark has done everything he could to recover and he did well at first, but everything shattered when he discovered Peter’s old phone, with a memory card full of his vlogs. Suddenly, nothing is more important, than hearing Peter’s voice, and watching his smiling face on a blue screen.





	THE BOY FROM A BLUE SCREEN

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I don't understand why it makes that space around some apostrophes, so please forgive me, when you see them.  
> Enjoy the fic! ♥

_It was the most amazing thing that ever happened! So Mr. Stark was like:_ Underoos!

 _And I just sort of flipped in and I stole Cap's shield and I was like:_ Hey what's up everybody!

_And then- Just a second! Coming!_

 

"Tony? "

Blue light accompanied with poor quality sound disappeared in a second. Darkness swallowed the whole room and except for sirens of an ambulance passing by the building and raindrops hitting wide windows like a shower, the place grew silent.

"Tony who are you talking to?" Pepper in a white bathrobe walked slowly to the heart of their living room with bare feet and a dark silhouette moved at the same time as she spoke.

"No one, I was just... on Youtube and forgot about time. I didn't want to wake you up. I'm going to sleep now." Her fiancé Tony Stark got up on his feet, hiding a phone in a palm of his hand, and was about to run from her to another room. Pepper blocked his way swiftly with her thin arms crossed over her chest.

"It's four in the morning, and this is the fourth time in just one week you've been _on Youtube and forgot about time_. What is going on, Tony? Why can't you sleep?"

"Do we have to talk about it now? I'm tired and I want to go to bed." His voice was cold and unbiased. Pepper interrupted him in his most fragile moment and he couldn't help himself not getting annoyed with her. He didn't want to talk to her, all he wanted was to hide again.

"I know you're not, I've been checking on you this past month. All you do is watching those weird videos and keep forgetting about eating or resting. This is not healthy and you're hurting yourself, Tony!"

"What are you talking about? I'm fine." Tony shook his head, not wanting to look into her eyes. She was always so right, her words stung like needles.

"You're obviously not!" Pepper nearly shouted, with a voice of a broken, helpless woman. "No one is fine after that whole thing with Thanos happened. Both of us had a hard time to getting over it, but we made such a progress during therapy. And all of a sudden you're so secretive and quiet. It's been two years, Tony and you're still suffering inside, I know it! Talk to me, please!"

"And what do you want to hear, huh? That I'm depressed? That I feel like my life has no meaning? Therapy won't do anything anymore, I need some time alone, the doctor told me the same thing and I wish you could give me some space for one goddamn minute!" Tony moved with his arms angrily as he shouted. Why is he so mad all of a sudden, she just wants to help him. She's sad and hopeless, when she sees him down and Tony knew he's hurting her even more, by pushing her away. But he couldn't help himself and it was tearing him apart. Pepper pressed her lips tightly and the corners of her mouth shook plaintively. Tony felt his stomach drop as he looked at her gloomy face. His muscles relaxed and guilt made him calm down.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," he admitted quietly. "I know you're worried about me."

"Oh Tony, you have no idea!" Pepper sobbed and they hugged each other tightly. When they stopped and Pepper looked up at him, she placed her cold palm on Tony's his cheek and brushed against his beard with her thumb. Tony always loved these small warm gestures that she gifted him with.

"You know what? Let's go to bed and we can talk about everything in the morning," Tony suggested with a smile and kissed the tip of her nose. She giggled like a little girl, with tears hanging on her lower lashes. Tony looked at the phone he still had in his hand, blue light lit his face, and he checked the time. "It's 4:24, we can take a day off tomorrow and spend some time together. We deserve it. What do you think?"

She smiled for a second, but then her face froze.

"Tony, whose phone is it?"

"What do you mean? It's mine." Tony smiled surprisingly and immediately tried to hide it. Pepper was quicker. Her hand grabbed the phone and turned it towards windows so she could see better.

"This is not yours," she said, and she was painfully correct, again. Tony's phone was completely different. He modified it by himself, it was a priceless piece, this one was just a cheap android. It looked so old and the screen was broken, how did he even get it.

"Give it back!" Tony reached for it, but Pepper jumped away from him quickly, like a doe. When she pressed the unlocking button on the side, the phone lightened up and she saw a picture of a young teenager hugging much older woman, set a as a wallpaper. Both of them were smiling into the camera happily and carelessly. She knew that kid, it was Peter Parker. When she slid to unlock, a video that seemed to be paused this whole time, started playing. The boy's voice filled the room again.

"What is this, Tony? Where did you get it?" She turned at him and even in the dark she could see his face paler than the Moon.

"I told you it's nothing." Tony hissed defiantly and reached for the phone. She jerked her hand away.  
"Is this what you've been watching this whole time? Peter Parker? Tony, that's disturbing. Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I don't expect you to understand. He was like my son, Pepper. I was responsible of him. After the war I felt like I've lost a kid. Do you even know how it feels? I guess you don't, explaining it to you is a waste of time. Just give me the damn phone."

"It's not yours!"

"Give it to me!" This time Tony had enough. He made one step towards her, but Pepper could see that move from a mile away, so she threw the phone across the room. Tony gasped loudly, as he watched it fall. He was lucky it landed between soft pillows on a couch. Pepper, shocked by her actions covered her mouth with her hand. The time has stopped for a nanosecond then both of them rushed towards the couch like their lives depended on it. Pepper was closer from a start and Tony guessed she's going to win, so he decided to cheat. He reached for her waist, grabbed the belt of her robe and pulled her back.

"NO! TONY STOP IT!" she screamed, as they both lost balance and fell on the floor, where they continued struggling furiously. Pepper held the collar on his t-shirt in her small fists, forcing him to stay down, while Tony wanted to get up on his feet. They kept moaning and wrestling on a heated floor for a moment, Tony trying to save his only link to the past and Pepper determined to keep him in the present. All of a sudden a spark of realization flickered in Tony's eye and a second later he pulled back and bended his spine, so all the force Pepper used to keep him down ended up dragging his shirt off instead. He was free and the woman dropped on her back powerlessly.

Tony won, and ran to take over his prize. The phone was fine, still playing a video. He pause it and hid the device inside his pocket. Pepper was still on the ground and this time she was crying for real. Tony didn't want to look at her. He stomped across the living room, towards the elevator.

"Where are you going? Tony! Talk to me, please!" he saw her looking at him with his t-shirt in her hands.

"I need some fresh air." He said simply, covering his bare chest with a leather jacket and entering the elevator. Before the door shut, he looked at sobbing Pepper and simply said: "I'm sorry."

 

The rain has stopped and the night was cold. Tony walked on wet asphalt, passing by black puddles reflecting street lights and stream of filthy water flowing past the sidewalk and disappearing in a channel. The main road was loud and overcrowded as usual, so Tony turned around and went to the park instead. It was empty. All the troublemakers had their fun earlier that night and left a decent mess on the ground. He walked far enough to make sure nobody known will find him and sat down on a bench. The seat was wet and the air was freezing, but Tony didn't mind. He reached for a phone in his pocket and the screen lit his face. Finally alone, so he could continue watching. He has seen it a million times, but that didn't matter. He lusted for it more than a drug addict lusts for his dose of heroin.

 

\- _Okay Peter you got this, you got this-_

_\- What the hell you wearing?_

_\- It's my suit._

_\- Where's the case?_

_\- What case? That's not my- What? I thought that was a closet! This is still my room? My room is waaay bigger that I thought!_

 

After Thanos' victory, everything began falling apart. Tony's wedding got canceled, the rest of Avengers disappeared in the wide world, all the ongoing projects got paused and nobody knew for how long and everybody fell into a deep depression.

Luckily Pepper was smart. She knew things could go wrong very quickly, and she signed Tony for a few therapy sessions. He went there without any protests, maybe because he didn't care anymore, and kept going back for about a year and a half. Surprisingly, he got better. He even began thinking about the wedding again. He realized how deeply he's loved by his fiancée and it made him stand straight again. He returned to his projects and even contacted Steve Rogers to thank him for what he did during the war. The sun shined at him again and Tony finally felt like peace of mind was within his grasp. At least until he made the last step towards his redemption.

 

Aunt May, that amazing woman, who he admired for her beauty, aged tragically in that past year. Her hair turned white, face became pale and wrinkly, and that sexy spark in her eyes had disappeared. When Tony met her, to talk about Peter, he could barely recognize the person in front of him. She didn't smile anymore and she still rightfully blamed Tony for everything.

The last time they spoke, was through the phone, May called him in fury, after he didn't show up at their meeting and she had to talk to Pepper instead. Tony couldn't simply see her face to face, after everything happened and in the last minute he found an excuse and ran away. The aftermath was truly unpleasant.

"It's your fault! You killed my boy! I've lost everything because of you and you don't even have the guts to talk to me! Go to hell!" She screamed at him, and then ended the call with wrath.

Tony knew that if he wants to sleep well at night, he has to apologize to her properly. It was an act out of random. One time, without telling anyone, he turned left instead of right with his car and stopped after he arrived in front of Parker's apartment. He was so anxious, his body shivered, but that didn't stop him. He was tired of being stressed about the whole situation with May and wanted it to be over. That's what motivated him to get out of car and enter the building.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked with a serious face, after she opened the door, not explaining why it took him so long to visit her. She was shocked, then her face changed and she looked like she's going to protest for a second, but in the end she did let him in. Maybe the forge of her rage turned cold, after all that time. The place looked just as he remembered it; still polished and cozy with a charming vintage vibe. Tony's heart skipped a beat, when he noticed Peter's scent in the air as he entered. God, he completely forgot how nice he used to smell.

May offered him a cup of coffee, which he accepted. When they sat down in a small living room, Tony saw a big picture of Peter hanged above the fireplace. It made him realize, how lonely must have May´s life became, after she lost her nephew. Without her husband, his brother and a boy who was basically her child, she turned into a sad, woeful lady.

"I know what you want to say, Mr. Stark," she spoke quietly, passing him a hot cup across the tea table. "I've been thinking about what happened a lot. Also Ms. Potts explained it to me very simply. But you have to understand, it wasn't easy for me. He wasn't just my nephew, he was my only family. We had each other and no one else."

"Of course, " Tony nodded.

"I know that Peter would have died even if he didn't go with you. That man - that Thanos was way too powerful and Peter did a good thing when he wanted to join the fight. But that doesn't mean that he should go. I know you wanted him to stay here and I know he disobeyed you. He always wanted to help everyone. He was such a good boy…"

Tony offered her a tissue box and she wiped off her tears. It was strange to see her open to him about the whole thing. Until that day Tony kept seeing her in his dreams as cold as a blade, screaming at him, or accusing him of awful things. Her words made him wake up crying and begging for forgiveness. She was just a soulless tool of his atonement. Now he realized, that both of them were just two grieving people, trying to find somebody to blame and somehow it made them feel connected.

 

They talked for some time about Peter and his life. May was still very upset and cried with every other sentence. Tony guessed she had been hiding her sorrow for a very long time. He was patient with her and listened to her kindly and she seemed grateful.

Before he left, he asked to see Peter's room. She let him enter and closed the door behind him, leaving him by himself, which he appreciated. Until then he believed she only thought his relationship with Peter was purely professional, but now he realized she knew that it was much more than that. He couldn't deny a warm feeling of gratitude shrouding his heart.

 

Peter's scent was very rich in his room. It was soaked in the walls and furniture like a spilled perfume even though Peter hasn't entered the place in eighteen months. Tony resisted the urge to touch his pillows or coming closer to his bed in general. He knew that's where the scent is the strongest and he didn't want to give May the chance to enter the room unexpectedly and see him in his most delicate moment.

As Tony was looking at the furniture and a messy table with Peter's unfinished homework, he realized that May purposely didn't move with any of boy's things. Everything looked like Peter has just left his room a second ago to go grab a box of juice from a fridge. Tony understood why she did it and despised it at the same time. He could already see a thin layer of dust covering everything and soon it will remind her that it's all just a painful illusion. Peter won't return with that box of juice and his homework will stay unfinished for the rest of the days. She won't be able to move on, if she will keep the room at this state.

All of a sudden, Tony felt an urge to take something with him. It was like a strong calling from his subconscious. He didn't have anything to remind him of Peter, and he wished he had something to worship. But that's just wrong, isn't it? Not only it will remind him of his death, but it's also a theft. Don't worry, just take something small, she won't notice. People always keep things that remind them of their loved ones, it's not a sin. She has a full room of Peter's belongings, you don't have anything. I'm sure she would understand…

He reached for a pen, one of many placed on Peter's desk in a small container. That's quite innocent and May definitely won't realize it's missing. But as Tony held it in his and kept turning it around, he couldn't feel satisfaction. A simple pen, that's just too easy for his demanding character. He was about to put it back, when he noticed Peter's backpack, on his chair. It was unzipped, almost challenging him to take a look inside. And he did. That's where he found Peter's old phone with a cracked screen and dead battery. May will notice it's gone, warned him a voice in his head. This is just too bold and inappropriate. But Tony didn't want to listen to his conscience, he wanted to be selfish and have a valid piece of Peter just for himself. That's why a second later the phone disappeared in a pocket of his black jacket. In a following moment he said goodbye to May politely and disappeared in a hallway.

 

Breaking into Peter's phone was very easy. After that Tony could spend hours browsing in Peter's most intimate files. Notes, text messages, internet history or pictures, all of that was in the palm of his hand. Tony felt excitement in his stomach like a young twenty-year-old.

He always loved Peter. There was no way to deny it. When he met him, the boy looked like he's just a sweet, likable teenager, and Tony had no idea he's going to end up having a crush on him. But it happened faster than he could ever expect. Peter was smart and empathic, but hasty and goofy at the same time, it was easy to fall for him. But Tony never showed his real feelings, for many obvious reasons. He didn't want to ruin that father-son relationship they had, it would turn things to dust in a second if he tried something. Also Peter was only seventeen. Even if he would feel the same, their relationship would have to remain secret. Not mentioning that it would destroy his relationship with Pepper.

More importantly teenagers are so turbulent and springy, they change their mind all the time and Tony knew that it wouldn't be a long-term thing. Leaving everything he had built over the years for one young fawn would be a lunacy. The whole thing was just unrealizable and should've stayed a fantasy. Luckily Tony was good at covering his emotions, so this was just another secret, locked inside his heart. But now, with a piece of Peter's soul this close to him, he finally and unintentionally let out of all of his affection he has been hiding.

 

Soon after his theft, he began realizing, that nothing was more important than that damn phone. Tony wanted to know everything. It was taking over his life. He realized how sick it is, when he scrolled through two years of Peter's DMs. Most of his DMs were meant for his friend Ned, and Tony watched their relationship evolve and mature as they went through puberty. Both of them were such nerds, but Tony loved it. Sometimes it made him feel like he's a kid again and is hooked on Star Wars and Star Trek.

Peter's images were a bit more recent, he must have had the phone since last year. He was taking pictures of his projects in chemistry class, sometimes he took a snap of the city from a skyscraper or a LEGO Millennium Falcon he seemed to be very proud of. One time Tony nearly screamed, when he found Peter's nudes hidden in one unnamed folder. He was in a meeting at that moment and it took him a lot of hard work not to freak out. Kids these days will take a picture of literally anything. He was disturbed but at the same time he couldn't take his eyes off them. It was like spilling water into a pan with scalding oil. At that point he stopped making excuses for him breaking into Peter's privacy.

The biggest turn happened when Tony discovered Peter's vlogs. That little brat kept everything, all of the records from Berlin, even though Happy deleted them in front of him. He must have had another memory card with him. But Tony was so glad it survived. Watching it made him feel delighted. Peter was so sincere and cheerful in his vlogs, since he probably didn't expect anyone to see them, so he was fully himself and Tony loved it. It was almost like he was talking directly to him. His voice was like a balm to his faded, broken mind. It was addictive. And Tony was open for an addiction.

Of course, thanks to the phone, basic things like working, eating or just concentrating became very difficult. Tony couldn't let his eyes off the screen. He barely noticed people around him and began seeking privacy more than ever. One time Pepper found him hiding in a wardrobe during a charity ball in a house of a British prime minister, and Tony couldn't explain to her why he's not down there with other guests, as he should be. He also got mad at her very often. He hated how she always disturbed him in moments where he needed to be alone. It was hard to admit, but the thing that suffered most from this Tony's addiction was their relationship. Tony became tired just from her presence and Pepper couldn't understand, what's going on. Every time she asked about it, he just turned away from her annoyingly. It was painful for both of them. Tony knew he can't do this forever. And maybe the time has come for this to end.

 

The sun was rising, Tony had a headache, his eyes burned and a battery in Peter's phone was dying. He had to go home, and try to fall asleep for at least a few hours otherwise he'll be useless for the rest of the day. As he walked towards his apartment, he kept thinking about Pepper. He had no idea how she´s going to swallow this craze of his. He was prepared for everything, when the elevator opened and he entered the living room. Nothing has changed since last night. It wasn't even seven o'clock, so Tony guessed Pepper is still sleeping.

He found her in their bed, snuggled up between white sheets, with dark circles under her eyes. He lifted the blanket a bit and lied down behind her. She woke up right away and turned at him.

"Please, don't say anything," Tony whispered, "I don't know how to apologize to you enough for last night."

"Are you going tell what is going on?" she asked him.

"Yeah… I think it's time." He admitted. "I'm not well, Pepper. I need help."

"Tony," she sighed hopelessly and hugged him. "Is it because of that phone? Where did you get it?"

"I took it from Peter's room the last time I visited his aunt. I just wanted something to remind me of him. Something for myself."

"I see… but a phone? Isn't it a bit-"

"Weird? Over the line? I knew it the second I was about to steal it. But Karma found me anyway. Ever since then I can't put it away. But for many reasons… I'm still not over the war, Pepper. It haunts me every day. And when I watch his videos, it's like he's just a step away from me. It's a time machine, that takes me back to the days where Peter was safe and everything was fine. Watching him laugh and mess around is the only thing that keeps me from losing my mind…"

"I know, baby. I know... "

"I wish he could come back. I wish none of this would have happened. I've never lost so much in one day. It's just too painful. And I'd do anything to stop it, to think about something else for a moment and these videos are the only thing that helps. I'm sorry I was so mean to you, I've never wanted to hurt you…"

He was crying, like a toddler, hiding in her arms. She was stroking his hair softly, melting his ice solid heart with her kindness, waiting for all of his tears to leave his body. After he stopped sobbing and calmed himself down, Pepper looked at him, but this time she wasn't a comforting lover, but more of a worried mother.

"Tony, you have to give the phone back. It's hurting you and it doesn't belong to you in the first place. May will be looking for it and she'll realize it must have been you who stole it. You should return it. "

"I know I should… but just the thought of it makes me feel so bad. I can't even imagine existing without it."

"We will manage that. I can make an appointment with the doctor, again. It will help you, but you have to be open to it. Would you do that for me?"

"I will, I promise…"

 

Few days later, when aunt May left with Peter's phone in her handbag, she gave Tony a look with a very simple translation: _I hope we won't see each other again_. Tony didn't say anything, except a polite goodbye. When the door closed behind her, Pepper turned at him and gave him a kiss.

"I'm so proud of you," she smiled and Tony smiled back at her. She was so happy, it was infectious. He invited her out for a coffee and she accepted.

"I'll just go get my coat!" she said cheerfully and left the room. Tony checked his wallet, if he has enough cash, and second later he went to the windows to look down at the city. It was a nice, sunny day in a middle of October. The leaves were falling as a soft breeze blew and people were walking on a street under him with a typical everyday rush. Even from the distance Tony noticed aunt May's grey head, walking out of the building and disappearing in a crown. As he watched her, his hand slipped into a pocket of his jacket and touched something cold and tiny. The man smiled softly and played with a memory card with his fingers for a while, until Pepper showed up.

 _It's going to be alright, I just have to be more careful this time_ … he thought, as they both left the building.

 


End file.
